My diary, my greatest friend

What struck me last night was just how much it helped just to write it down. How I was feeling. Its not a suprise to me really because that's what I do, write, pages and pages and pages in my diary. But just how powerful it was at dispercing a fear was quite amazing. They say you should face your fears and doing that makes them much less powerful and in this case it did, by writing. I'm a big believer in getting it all out in my diary. Sometimes I write for hours, round and round in circles getting nowhere and sometimes I write short bits, clear as day and I do it because I know just how much it helps. It helps too to read it back, sometimes you just have to get the words out there, rambling writing that makes no sense but when you read it back, days or even weeks later, it makes perfect sense. Sometimes just bringing the feelings to the surface and giving them words allows your brain to churn it around over time and spit it out into perfectly logical sentances. You get your answer.I think I've spoken about my diary writing before but I never really thought to include the 'how of it' on here.
Its only fitting that it should have instructions just the same as sanding down a cupboard does because if this blog is an acurate account of healing with helpfullness and sharing in how to do it, then I firmly believe that diary writing is a huge part of that. It neednt take long or it can take a whole day, its really up to you.
I take the time to choose a nice book to write in, its important to have a specially allocated book and a pen thats kept with it at all times, your diary pen, so theres no excuse to not write. During this last year, I have bought four new books, all the same, with little clocks on them which I choose initially because my saying of the day was 'give the time some time' I love that saying as it seems to say just let the time drift by, don't rush it and all will heal, in time. I don't know why I bought the same book again when I went back for a new one, normally each book is different but as this story isn't over perhaps it needed to be told in the same books. It will be interesting to see when I feel ready to choose a new design.

With the first one I bought a pen to match, with the same little clocks on, long since used up. I like pens, patterned ones, sparkly ones, ones with dangly bits hanging off the top, I've always been a bit of a stationary junkie so theres been lots of different pens. I keep my local stationers in business, oh and don't get me started on how many pencil cases and rubbers I have! Seriously though to take a little care over your book and pen makes diary writing an even more 'just for you' special experience.
After a while it becomes a little routine, you might find you slip into doing it at the same time everyday. It's something that you do just for yourself and it's for no-one elses eyes, ever, so you can write in it whatever you like, you can draw in it, stick things in if you want to. Always keep your diarys in a safe, secret place if you don't live alone, the whole idea is that you get your innermost thoughts into it, even if they're bad ones, especially if they're bad ones and you need to feel totally confident that your feelings are just for your eyes.