Just write!

So how to write...it seems fairly obvious but sitting in front of a blank page and not really knowing how to write your feelings down can be daunting so the trick is..just start! Write the date at the top, as you will want to read it back one day and its important to know at what point in your life it was. After that start with what you've done that day, just the facts at first. You might do this for a few weeks until you begin to get the hang of diary writing and you will naturally slip into writing how you felt about the events of the day, even if all you put is 'that made me cross' or 'that made me laugh'. Pretty soon you will be overflowing with words, it doesn't matter if they make sense, often thoughts are coming so quickly you just have to get them down and not worry about spelling or grammar. I often wish I could write short hand as the thoughts in my head go quicker than my pen!
Also write things in there that you've seen or read that are helpful to your emotional life, to your recovery, then you can then refer back to it when necessary. Some people write as a letter with Dear... at the top, as though they are talking to a friend. I would imagine this works very well to get you going, although I wonder if you might be restricted as the idea of a diary is that you get out thoughts that sometimes you'd be utterly horrified if anyone else knew you had. My counsellor is wonderful but there are still some things I wouldn't admit to her!

I used to have a dilemma over whether diary writing is self indulgence but whats wrong with a little self indulgent time for yourself. I wondered if it was narcissism and unhealthy to be obsessed with ones feeling quite so much but current thought is that if you bury feelings its damaging and comes out eventually as stress related illness. I suffered with my stomach terribly for years, horrible cramps and pain and reading back over my diarys I can certainly see why! I was leading a life that wasn't right for 'the me inside' and the inside me was complaining. Now that I have inner peace its amazing the difference it has made. I now have constant back pain though so I need to get to the bottom of that but I suspect wallpapering and painting ceilings has more to do with it than buried emotional turmoil.

Its really good when your trying to deal with something new to be able to look back at other times in your life when you faced something similar and see how you felt and how you coped, or didn't cope as the case may be. I had kept diaries over the last 10 years and once the dust had settled it was good to be able to read extracts that have really helped me to stay strong and on track when I was having wobbly moments. A diary is your perspective of events, it may not be right in someone else's eyes, they may have a very different version of events but a diary is your reaction, how you felt. A diary won't tell you to shut up and stop being pathetic, or shout at you, a diary will listen and in time give you an answer that will really help. If you do read back and think 'hmm I over reacted a bit that time' then it's a lesson to tweek your reaction a little next time or if in my case you read back and think 'you stupid little cow what the hell did you live like that for so long for' then you know not to do that next time either.

You don't need to write every day, it shouldn't be a chore, just as and when you need to. Try to write on days that you feel really good too, put down what has made you happy, those inserts will be a real pick me up for you on dark days when you can read back and think yes there are good bits in this nightmare and you will know that the good bits will come again. I started to put a smiley face or a sad face at the top right corner of the page after I had finished each post, to make referring back easier. It goes opposite my date and because I'm a doodler they now have morphed into little faces with tears or cross faces, theres even one with its tongue out.
It's your book so you can do what you like in it. You are gaining a much greater understanding of what makes you tick and what you need for a happy life.