The reasons why I left I won't go into, just run of the mill it seems these days reasons. I lived with them for years and they were my grievances. I had a choice, it was my choice, I made it, I own it. It was the wrong choice in hindsight for my self respect, confidence and dignity. I knew that all along and I know I am very damaged by it now but I made it, so suddenly blowing a trumpet out loud would make me look pathetic.
Saying that will make some people angry I know but trust me when I say I have watched other women do this who have also left the social circle and it did them no good whatsoever, in fact it made it a hundred times more difficult for them. They shouted as loud as they could to anyone who would listen and boy do they all want to listen to every gory little detail but the women are out of the fold and it backfired on them. They were gossiped about, ridiculed, blamed and treated damn right cruely. I've seen them over the years bursting into tears in the village shop, isolated in the village pub when faced with turned backs from people they thought where freinds and when my partner and I first got together I even witnessed it with his ex, so when I left I knew full well that it would happen to me if I wasn't careful.
I don't need to tell all to re-build me, I've let it all out to my therapist and her and I are making great strides in putting me back together but spilling beans here would serve no purpose as part of my healing and I would hurt others by doing so, so I just won't go into it and thats the last we'll talk of my old life. Now I will share with you my new one and I hope you will share too :-)
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